This is a tricky one, especially for shy girls. It’s not like he can imagine how it feels for you, he doesn’t have a clitoris after all. And I don’t care what anyone tells you, a clit is not just a mini version of a guy’s head! I hate it when I hear my womanhood being described as an under-developed male sexual organ. Besides, every woman is different; just like every guy is different. What turns you on won’t be what turns on your neighbour – and thank God! Variety is what makes us interesting and unique. Without variety, sex would be the same with everyone, there would be no surprise or challenge – boring. I have always been a bit squeamish about the idea of masturbating in front of a guy. Perhaps I just didn’t want to admit to the fact that I look like I am having a seizure when I give myself a quickie! To me it just doesn’t look sexy. Then one day a friend of mine and I were having a glass of wine and a giggle, and she did a quick little sketch, acting out her masturbation orgasm, and I was so relieved – my friend also looks like she’s having a fit when she brings herself to climax!
You will be surprised at how interested he is, once you get talking! Basically you are giving him permission to experiment – which is perfect because you never know, he may surprise you with something you didn’t even know you liked! Remember, you’re not necessarily going to give him a step by step verbal guide of how to masturbate and get you off, because that could put unnecessary pressure on him, and if he can’t get you off then he’s just going to feel bad. It’s more about encouraging him to try new things. Here are some things you can ask him to try to get him thinking outside of the box: Tell him to stimulate everywhere BUT your clitoris! This will teach him to build you up to a delicious state of anticipation. Ask him what his other hand is doing. When he states the obvious, that it’s not doing a lot, tell him what you want it to do… fiddle with your nipples perhaps? Or maybe you’d like a wet finger rimming your asshole, if you’re a little daring? Ask him to use his fingers like scissors, see what that feels like! Tell him to go slower if he’s going fast, faster if he’s going slow, harder if he’s going soft and… well you get the drift. Ask him to cup your vagina with the whole of his palm and stimulate you that way if he can… A lot of the communication depends upon him being receptive to how your body responds to his touch too, so if he’s playing lightly but not recognizing that you trying to grind against his fingers means you want more pressure, just moan “harder...”